Chugging Away!

my FAST series for FFXV

Hey guys! I’m still alive! Been thinking a lot lately, probably a bit too much tbh! I am only now coming to a point in my life where I really see the benefit of having my own place away from my parents/family. The irony being im growing up in the time when more people then ever are being forced to move back home with their parents, not only because we got shit wages that havent gone up with inflation and has effectively robbed every generation after the gold standard was removed. But also the good jobs where you could just work somewhere for 40-50 years, check out with a sweet pension, those jobs are almost non existent due to the forces of capitalism and milking every cent. Anyways, I’ve kinda just been trying to take it easy, learn some new things and survive in my current situation!

I guess I make it sound pretty dramatic for a white guy living in his parents basement, its not even so much that, but i am effectively blocked from what I want to do in life,which is contribute fully to the idea of trade-free! Yes I can do that from canada in limited ways, but id be much more effective working closely and living together with people of a similar outlook on life. Dealing with people everyday, and hearing their problems, there going out to the bar again this weekend, working all week….its just uninteresting, not that you cant have a good time doing that but thats the loop these people seem to be stuck on since highschool. Surely theres other things we could do, hell other less destructive drugs we could really use to gain some connections, howabout a night out at a “trip bar” where you could just drop some mushrooms with some randoms haha jk but alcohol is honestly gotta be one of the most destructive drugs out there because aint NOONE drinking in moderation, the whole IDEA is to get fucked up!

I am definitely not a straight edge but my binge drinking days are behind me, but I derive my fun in other ways like video games with friends or being more introverted I do appreciate my alone time! Though with my massive downshift in my friend circle and romantic partner this year I am down to about 2 people I can confide in locally. Everyone just seems to be in their own little bubble, I mean im used to this as im not huge on social things, but even i am detecting that almost everyones attitude/time is shifting to this very I want to say “selfish” mode, where its you and whatever the fuck youre doing on your phone, games, social media, looking for a disposable human…. the world feels very hollow haha one might call it ” The emptiness”! Shoutout to neverending story 2! =] But is a very stong symptom of a society in pain.

I am also noticing recently that mentally I am struggling with thinking or NOT thinking obsessively over the same awful thoughts. But I’ve also noticed something…. these repeating thoughts that give me bad feelings, or make me sad whatever you want to call it…..they pretty much only come when im sitting in my room, doing nothing, unstimulated….emptiness again. I was talking to tio about this and we both agree when a persons life is FULL, when you have freinds, and love, happiness and a social circle you belong to, fuck you may as well label me immortal, because the feeling is nothing can slow you down! I know what its like to sleep 10-12-16 hours a day, still be tired, unable to sleep but have 0 motivation to get up, hell thats been lately. But I also know what it’s like to look forward to waking up, or being so excited you CANT sleep, or fucking being up for 14 hours till 2 in the morning, START DRINKING, go out for a night on the town in spain and come home at 6am where you realize you have no fucking idea how to unlock this goddamn villa door, so fuck it you sleep on the grass…..10 minutes later I just bug yoav to let me in, so he did, thx hero, go to bed and get up 4 hours later to hike 20KM to and from the castle….. thats a night and day difference between living at home and being around the most amazing people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. However I know those feelings of good times have all but faded, even though it was only a few short months ago. I remember that I was happy, but I cant feel that happiness again, theres no recall of that comforting emotion and thoughts like while i was over there “this is it”.

These things like depression, mental illness are poorly understood and defined, of course we’ve basically just begun these studies but i am now sorry I used these labels on people, even if I meant no harm because there was harm. My last girlfriend had some problems. I also had a problem, where I was trying to label and fix all of her problems because I thought “she has these symptoms, she must be this or this” knowing full well not only am I not a doctor but im suffering from some of this shit myself. there are things we can say about “depression” sure, but I dont think the average person understand really whats happening. I think back to a time before I knew that I had a panic attack at 27. I’ve been dealing with so much anxiety my whole life, I can now look back and see all the various coping behaviors I didnt realize I was even doing and then having your heart race, you start to sweat and waves of dread wash over you, I didnt know what was happening, one moment i was playing a video game the next I literally was fearing for my life because I thought I had cancer, and let me tell you once you start winding up, good luck stopping it. To have someone to describe a panic attack or anxiety to me, I think would leave me with no real understanding….but to go through it and FEEL IT and know the thoughts and the runaway ideas, the hyper-reality….o man it gets me charged up just to think about it….. now im not saying everyone should go out and have panic attacks….or hell maybe I am, because I sure as shit know I appreciated what the people suffering around me were telling me through all these years, I finally UNDERSTOOD.

Anyways its been a long few weeks, i want to do more with this website just organize it and clean it up a bit, kinda plan out the sections I want… anyways other than that I got a new studio setup spent under 100$ and got a mic arm some good white lighting and a green screen! so look forward to hopefully some creative content coming for that! very chaotic thoughts reading over my posts a perfect representation of how my life feels right now!

Trade-Free.org Launched TODAY!

The homepage of trade-free.org !

And we’ve finally made it here! trade-free.org/ ! This is the base site for something very important to all of humanity, and the structure on which we can build a society that doesn’t purely run on further corruption and chaos to sustain itself!

We can use renewable energy to power 100% of our needs. We can inventory the earth and learn about it’s resource limits to sustain life comfortably for all inhabitants! We can learn to cooperate and help each other not only in our desperate times of need, but everyday life! No more artificial barriers to constrain our own understanding of our world and technological progress, like money or lack of access! Instead our REAL value system can emerge out a society that’s best interest is not that of next quarter profits, but that sustains and improves the lives of any and EVERYONE!

Trade-free addresses almost all of the underlying issues we see play out in daily life like politics, wars, homelessness, and lack of basic resources. With a scientific understanding of our world and each other, we are at a point in humanity where a majority of people no longer need to waste away in jobs that require repetitive/harmful labour. A majority of these “jobs” will either no longer be needed due to the efficiency increases, automation and focus on making products to last/upgrade instead of a disposable capitalistic nightmare culture we’ve created!

We can accelerate ourselves even further and faster by unifying our strength together and prepare humanity to face and deal with ANY threat it’s presented with, be it an asteroid or climate change, these are universal enemies to life on earth, and only TOGETHER do we stand a chance of surviving on this habitable floating space rock!

Lets flood the world with trade-free goods and services, and lets see how our values and ideas can gain some perspective when EVERYTHING has an artificial monetary value removed! MUCH LOVE FRIENDS! =]