Recently back from my time in Spain, with some serious time to reflect! My suspicions were confirmed while I spent 3 weeks with these people. It was the best goddamn 3 weeks of my life to date! Even with a missed flight, the impossibility of leaving that day and everything going to shit, I stayed in good spirits as I tried to keep my life in perspective! Thankfully I also ran into Seb and Sofie at the airport and they tried very hard to get me on that plane and tried everything they could do, people I’ve known for maybe a few months being more concerned and caring then some of my oldest “friends”! The moral support and invite out to Copenhagen was an amazing offer I will take them up on sometime!
Thankfully my mom was able to not only arrange another flight, but got it to me completely free and timely due to the unfortunate circumstance at the airport, not too mention she everything else she did for me on the trip!I stayed an extra night in a city close to the airport Sant Boi which was an expensive industrial park to stay in, but beggies cant be choosies! Once I could figure out how to actually turn on the fucking electricity for the place I was set and got some grub and looked around a bit! Not much to see but graffiti and trash, but hey it made me feel at home! =D
Anyways after that whole debacle I got to the airport 3 hours ahead of schedule so I could get groped twice by 2 different security guys, and have my belongings pulled aside and analyzed for bomb making residue, how awesome is that! I wonder what they end up doing with all those bombs they must find on a daily basis! I guess we’ll just NEVER KNOW *shrug*!
On the flight I had the pleasure of sitting beside a girl In which we ignored each other for probably the first 6 hours of the flight, but finally when the 3rd time I turned down the airplane food because I have to eat gluten-free, she inquired further as to why. By the end of the flight we were talking about deforestation, breaking the norms of society and the dystopian future of social media today! All without knowing each others names even! I couldn’t imagine a better conversation to end on. Then reality set in and I had to continue on home and we parted ways! We will meet again I’m sure~!=]
So continuing on to the black hole that is London, my mom informs me about the recent family drama, as we drive through the concrete jungle. The cops were almost called on my family members by other family members, a big blow up and display of dysfunction, FUN! By the end of the night when we were going through photos, I could already realize the ways my personality was shifting towards a little more closed off/protective state because of the family dynamic. Its such a weird thing to experience, especially when its so sudden and you’re yanked out of a daydream (synonymous with reality for once!) and put firmly back on the ground with what you’d normally expect from the family I have! I tried to not let it all get the best of me, and certainly had a moment I thought I was going to cry driving past all the same buildings I’d grown up with all my life and the complete “detachment” from nature in the so called “forest city”!
Pressing on in the coming days, I could hear screaming yelling upstairs, annoying animals, allergies being hit with it all at once like a wall slowly unchecking those “quality of life” boxes as I hid out in my basement! I JUST WANT PEACE, alas it seems an impossibility living amongst these people concerned with all these nothing burgers! We get news from my dad that hes finally had to go to emergency to deal with a surgery he needed YEARS ago…only to find out later that hes failed to schedule with the surgeons….. FFS….and then the DAY after that one of the cats dies. I don’t own any pets , I rarely ever have in my life for various reasons, death being one of them! Guess who ends up burying a dead cat, the guy with the least amount of connection to them! =] This was to help out my mom mostly but now I’M traumatized because of someone else’s decision to keep these things?? I literally didn’t sign up for this shit! lmao….but seriously R.I.P. Stripes =[
Anyways I can feel my energy levels dropping, the non-motivation to want to get out of bed and what I can only describe as depression slowly setting back in as the people I care to spend my time with are all separated once again, until we can figure out the next moves and what not! However something that is different. I’m able to deal with all this much more effectively, and in terms of LIFE motivation I’m 1000% ready to GO and contribute to trade-free. You’ll hopefully hear more and more about it in the coming weeks as we start planning and releasing even more trade free things / services! But for the most recent addition Trom-Jaro the linux based trade-free OS has officially been released!
Until I see you all again you will live on in the UNGODLY & GLORIOUS amount of footage I saved from the trip! =D